 LISA ULSHAFER
They say when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. It was in July of 2004 that this student was ready to have her teacher appear. I was already acquainted with him, but now I was ready to know him and learn. The teacher I speak of is Dale Halaway, and I will always be eternally grateful for having been sent such a kind, loving and nurturing soul.
When I came to this place along my journey my circumstances were such:
I had come out of an abusive marriage and painful divorce 6 years earlier and was now a single mother with an 8-year old son. I created 2 types of relationships with men, those who were friends who I would not allow to be anything more and those who were emotionally unavailable. It was the latter that I became completely consumed with, feeling mistreated, avoided, pushed away & rejected. These types of relationships brought incredible pain; I literally tortured myself for years. I was so hooked into seeking love and approval from these people that I had completely lost sight of any self-respect or love for myself. On the flipside, I would push away the men who treated me well.
 Although I have always been a loving mother, my patience was definitely tested when it came to parenting. I had a very strong need to hurry and a need to push through life. I can remember my son saying “How come we are always in a hurry?” Getting ready for school in the mornings was especially trying, often ending up in frustration and anger.
I was barely able to make it month after month and always worried about money. I buried myself in my work… I was on the computer almost all the time. The puzzling question for me was, how could I have so many talents and work so hard and still be financially depleted. I completely undervalued myself and my time that I literally gave my time and talent away. Because I was afraid to speak up for myself for fear I might rock the boat or of what people might think of me, I just kept giving and giving and in the process was hurting myself and my son by continually having to struggle financially. Having spent most of my life not speaking up for myself, I was suppressing and accumulating more anger and resentment and didn’t even know it. It built to the point however, where I just couldn’t hold it in any longer. I would end up in situations where I would literally explode, mostly in the privacy of my own space but sometimes in the presence of others.
From the age of 15, I grew up around a lot of drinking and partying, not in my family, but with the people I spent time with socially. In college and through adulthood I continued to drink a lot when I would be out with friends, most of the time to excess, thinking it was all just about having fun and was certainly what everyone else was doing! It got to a point where the fun would turn into situations where I was no longer having fun, but just drinking to escape because I thought I would feel better. Sometimes it would work, sometimes it wouldn’t, but it certainly wasn’t resolving anything in my life.
 I was very insecure and fearful of life and felt very little if any inspiration in my life. I was so caught up in all the struggle and pain that I felt very isolated and alone. Even though I had a wonderful family and friends, there was a deep loneliness inside me and I felt I had no sense of who I was or where I was going. I always felt like something was missing. What I hadn’t realized back in July of 2004 was that the very thing that was missing from my life was not on the outside at all, it was what was missing on the inside, the connection to myself!
The first seminar I attended had an extremely profound effect on my life. It was like having someone lift a curtain from in front of me that I had been sitting behind for forty years. This is also where I learned about life coaching, and with a college degree in psychology and my desire to help others, I knew in that moment that I was to be a life coach and also a teacher once I was far enough along in my own healing process.
After that seminar, not only was I seeing my world differently, but my world was seeing me differently. Most importantly, I was starting to see myself differently. This truly was the beginning of a life that would be filled with a deeper sense of awareness and a greater appreciation for all of the experiences in my life. I was also at a place where I would begin to understand the girl I used to be and the woman that I had become.
I was now committed to making my journey of healing number one. I attended 2 more seminars and one of Dale’s 9 day retreats by the end of 2004. Things had really started to turn around for me. I was absorbing as much knowledge as I could from the seminars and releasing the negative emotional energy from my subconscious as I could. I had started to change the way I lived and felt about life.
When I returned from my last seminar of 2004, I vowed to live better, eat healthier and charge forward on this new path, and so I did. In the months to pass, I wasn’t able to attend another seminar. I still felt very committed to my transformational journey, but I was feeling my life getting heavier and heavier. I progressively began to lose the passion and the desire that I had felt so strongly just several months ago.
I had created situations in my life that depleted me, spiritually, financially, energetically and emotionally. My life had gone from one of enthusiastic inspiration for this new life I was creating to feeling used, angry, resentful and anything but inspired. I had once again fallen back into the grips of the victim mentality.
 I hadn’t attended a seminar for 7 months. It was at this time that I realized that you can’t get a college degree with only 4 courses, and you certainly can’t master your life in 4 months. I knew it was the best thing I could do for myself to get back into another seminar. If the seminars were only being held in Portland, then Portland is where I needed to go. I even needed to borrow the money from my mom to make the trip (thanks Mom, I love you!).
This seminar became yet another significant turning point in my life. It was truly with this seminar that my commitment to my own transformational journey was solidified. The awareness that I came to during those 2 days turned me back around and showed me not only how easy it is to fall back into old patterns of thinking and living, but how much more I had to learn and experience. It was through the trying experiences which I had just been through that became one of my greatest lessons, and because of the intensity of the experience, it had a multitude of lessons interwoven into it. Through returning to the seminar environment, I had achieved a better understanding of how I drew this experience into my life, but the lesson that was vital for me to learn was how to “let go”!
I had such a strong commitment now to my own healing that when the opportunity arose to play a role in bringing the seminars to the Las Vegas area I accepted with such excitement, appreciation and gratitude that you could have peeled me off the ceiling.
Over three years have passed since that first seminar. Through those years I have been dedicated to my path of personal and spiritual transformation through coaching with Dale and attending each and every seminar. I have not only stepped into the role of Promotional Director for the Las Vegas area but also became certified through Seminars That Inspire to become a Transformational Life Coach. I currently have a successful full time practice in assisting others in their own process of self-discovery which fills me with such joy, fulfillment and gratitude. My process of healing and transformation has been one of continued commitment and consistency in participating in this environment provided by Seminars That Inspire made up of such amazing life-changing seminars and coaching.
 I have slowed down in my life, come from a more centered and relaxed place and my ability to be patient has replaced my impatience which has greatly enhanced my relationship with my son Eric and everyone in my life. Today, I take responsibility for my anger and choose to release it instead of projecting it onto others. Now my son has even taken the initiative to get up on his own 3 hours before school and get himself ready which makes our mornings enjoyable, relaxed and easy.
I have done a great deal of healing around my relationships with men and feel comfortable and happy with myself, with or without someone in my life. I no longer attract in the “emotionally unavailable” type of man because I have released that within myself.
My money flow has greatly increased, in fact I have increased my income by 43% from just one year ago, and now I come from a place of allowing things to flow easily instead of pushing and blocking the flow. My time spent on the computer is now balanced with my family time and my time for myself.
I now speak up for myself when appropriate, firmly but coming from a place of love. I no longer give away my time or undercharge for my service keeping myself and my family financially balanced.
 I stopped drinking alcohol altogether for a year and a half and slowly brought it back into my life where I can have a glass of wine or a drink or two and no longer be using it to suppress my feelings. I have had a few experiences where I revisited drinking excessively, and the experience just confirmed to me that I no longer wish to live my life in that way. Sometimes we need to return to an old behavior to recognize it no longer serves us.
I have let go of so much of my insecurities and feel a sense of inner quiet confidence within myself that continually grows every day. I have even worked through my fear of public speaking through releasing my fears and stepping into them by presenting in every seminar taught by Dale as well as having taught my first 2 hour seminar on my own.
I now live with inspiration all through my life. My judgment has been replaced with compassion and allowing people to be who they are. I’m much more at peace and harmony with myself which naturally flows to those around me.
I’m a better parent, daughter, friend, colleague and woman. I’m simply a better human being! I continue my journey, always growing and always raising my awareness. I also continue to learn lessons. Is it always an easy road? No. Is it always a meaningful one, ABSOLUTELY!
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As of January 2008, I utilized Dale's transformational process of manifesting goals and my income has increased by an average of $2,000 per month above and beyond my 43% increase from 2007.
 My biggest victory to date has also been my biggest challenge in the past, being in a beautiful loving relationship with a man I completely love and respect to share my life with. As of February 2008, the man who I have known as my mentor and teacher, Dale Halaway, has now become my spiritual life partner. Through the coming together of Dale and myself, I have also gained someone in my life who I love not only as a friend but also as a daughter, Dale's daughter Randi. I feel such gratitude and appreciation for receiving such blessings in my life and look forward to what this part of my life journey will bring together with the three people I hold so dear to my heart, my soulmate, a new daughter and my son all together as a family.
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